Surrender to Love and House

What stood out today:
From the book "Surrender to Love: Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality" by David G. Benner
Pg 76 The naked self “Love is transformational only when it is received in vulnerability."
Pg 78 “The crux of the problem is that I cannot feel the love of God because I do not dare to accept it unconditionally.”

From The TV show House #120 Love Hurts 41:40
"Its not about the pain. Its about being open and completely vulnerable to another person. If you can learn to be that deeply trusting… it changes you.”

My response: God, how strange to have this book and TV show converge on love that trusts. In “House” a dominatrix says these words that are so true when set in a context with you. Trust, vulnerability, openness, submission, are all components of authentic love. Holy Spirit, thank you for moving me to spend time with Jesus in a contemplative state, in a way “snuggling” with Him.

Proverbs Review

Reviewed all 31 chapters and these phrases stood out:
Proverbs 3 Discipline
Proverbs 7 Abba Father, how good it is to hear you say “My son.”
Proverbs 8 v35 For whoever finds Me finds LIFE. Jesus I love it when you reveal yourself in Scripture.
Proverbs 15 Joy is a byproduct of righteousness.
Proverbs 16 How often do our plans take you into consideration?
Proverbs 17 You, who are Holy see all this darkness and You do not turn and run.
Proverbs 18 to understand and know You, the One True Living God; the One who sticks closer than a brother is truly more precious than many companions.
Proverbs 19 Jesus, I want you more than anything else. I want your LIFE for Nancy too and us together.
Proverbs 20 Abba Father, it feels like You yourself are teaching me throught the writer of Proverbs.
Proverbs 21 I like that you are shepherding my heart.
Proverbs 23 Jesus, may your love awaken my heart to love you back, to listen and obey, to be wise in heart, and bring you much glory.
Proverbs 25 Jesus, words are powerful, especially yours. You are the Logos of God. You are the centerpiece of the written word.
Proverbs 27 Abba Father, what a strange balance between planning and letting you direct our steps.
Proverbs 28 God you are so for us, we have no idea… If we really knew we would run to you, we would run from sin.

Abba Father, thank you for the deeper knowing of you as Father. Thank you for driving deeper that I am a dearly loved son. Jesus, thank you for the bookends in chapter 8:32 “Now then My sons” and 8:35 “whoever finds me finds LIFE.” Holy Spirit, thank you for rewiring more of my neurons to see and believe more of the goodness and more of the love of God. Hmm…God, I am grateful and I want more. I want more of you. Jesus, I want the LIFE you came to give more than anything else.

Proverbs 28

What stood out today:
13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
14 Blessed is the man who always fears the LORD, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

My response: God, you are so for us - we have no idea! If we really knew we would run to you, we would run away from sin. We would seek to take hold of all the blessings we have been given in the heavenly realms. We would run hard after Jesus who is all things to us and for us. LORD God, I fear missing or forfeiting any good thing you have given me. Jesus, I throw my arms wide open, that all of me is open to all of you. I hide nothing, I confess everything. I yearn for your mercy, your love, your Holiness. Jesus, thank you for the new covenant: a new purity, a new heart, a new identity, a new power. A covenant sealed in your blood…

Proverbs 27

What stood out today:
1 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.
21 The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives.
23 Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;
24 for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.

My response: Abba Father, what a strange balance, planning and paying attention, and holding the plans open handed to let You direct our steps. Yes Lord, wealth and praise is indeed a test of our character. Will it puff up our ego? Or will it puff up our praise for you, our gratefulness? Will it make us more humble?

Proverbs 25

What stood out today:
11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

My response: Jesus, words are powerful, especially yours. You are the LOGOS of God. You are the centerpiece of the written word. Your words spoken in the Gospels cause men to be silent and in awe. Jesus, as you become more pre-eminent in me may your words flow from my mouth, may they be heard as, “apples of gold in settings of silver.” May your gentleness, patience, and kindness be powerful and evident to all. Lord God, by Christ, may you be Glorified in me today?

Proverbs 23

What stood out today:
15 My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad;
16 my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
19 Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.

My response: Father, God, it is so good to hear you call me, “My son.” I also love the thought that I have the potential to make your heart glad. Jesus, there are so many ways you try to tell us how dearly we are loved. Holy Spirit, give me ears to hear and a heart that believes this wonderful Kingdom reality. Jesus may your love awaken my heart to love you back, to listen and obey, to be wise in heart; and bring you much joy and glory.

Proverbs 15

What stood out today:
13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

My response: Coram Deo. Before the face of God. Truly you do see everything. What is that like for you? You who are Holy, is there anything good? We are so radically ruined by sin that even what we see as good is fouled in your sight. Still I am glad you are keeping watch, that I am under your watchful eye. Jesus, once before when I read this I noticed all the times you say, “correction.” This time I noticed you talk about “heart” seven times: hearts of fools, hearts of men, happy heart, discerning heart, cheerful heart, heart of the righteous, joy to the heart. Hmmm…these move from hearts of fools to hearts of righteousness and happy, discerning, cheerful, and joy are mixed in. Yes, LORD God, wisdom, discernment, righteousness, fear of the Lord, all bring a joy that is completely Holy, so not of this world, so You. Yes, Spirit, rewire some more neurons, redirect my thinking, and grant me repentance. Thank you, Abba. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit! Joy is a byproduct of righteousness. Keep on the trajectory of Matthew 6:33 – But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.

Proverbs 8

What stood out today:
6 Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right.
30 Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence,
31 rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind.
32 "Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways.
33 Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it.
34 Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.
35 For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the LORD.

My response: Jesus, I love when you reveal yourself in your scripture. You are the craftsman at Abba’s side. You have been with the Father forever. You speak wisdom for us to know and understand. You know and can teach successful dependant obedience. Here you are again offering Yourself, and in You is Life. Its interesting that at the top of my journal is Proverbs 8:32-34. In verse 32, the beginning sets us up as sons and daughters and verse 35 is the outcome - when we find You, we find LIFE!

Proverbs 7

What stood out today:
1 My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.
2 Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.

My response: Abba Father, how good it is to hear you say, “My son.” There is indeed no flaw in your character, no error in your commands and teachings. You give us your ways, Your commands, Your teachings because you Love us with a Perfect Holy Love. We are completely fools when we do not listen. Jesus, show me how to live in dependent obedience. Holy Spirit, open my heart to the reality of how good, wise and loving God really is.

Proverbs 3

What stood out today: 3: 11, 12 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent His rebuke, v12 because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a Father the son he delights in.

My response: Father, God, these are difficult times and there are many reasons to discipline. Father, God, whatever it takes to bring me to your redemptive potential; whatever it takes to free me from any idols; whatever it takes to bring me to the Christ LIFE. Do whatever you need to do in your perfect loving will. And I praise you and love you and look forward not only to the results but also the process. But mostly the journey that is with you and to you. I love you, Abba…

Esther 9 & 10

What stood out today: 9:2, 3, 10, 15, 16, 22, 10:3 v9:2 No one could stand against them because the people of all the other nationalities were afraid of them… v3 because fear of Mordecai had seized them. v10, 15, 16 but they did not lay their hands on the plunder. v22 day of feasting and joy, giving presents of food to one another and gifts to the poor. v10:3 Mordecai was second in rank, preeminent, held in high esteem because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of the Jews.

My response: Fear is a powerful thing in your hands, O God. It is an important principal in your kingdom – to fear you. Yet in your scriptures you write, “perfect love drives out all fear.”

I am struck by the compassion of the Jews even though they killed 500, 300, 75,000 men – enemies; three times you record they did not lay their hands on the plunder. Was this a way to care for the widows and orphans? And then as part of the celebration of Purim there are gifts for the poor. That is so you, God. The end of this book closes with Mordecai being revered because he led by serving. “He worked for the good of his people and spoke up for their welfare.” Jesus, you have worked for our good as an example and as our atoning sacrifice. Jesus, you continue to speak up on our behalf as our advocate, our great high priest before God, our Father. God, you are all through this book and yet your name is not printed. In a similar way your markers, your evidence, is all through this world even though for now we can’t see you with our eyes. Yet by your grace we have faith. A faith that gives eyes that see, ears that hear, hearts that understand. Thank you, Abba. Thank you, Spirit. I love you, Jesus.

Esther 7 & 8

What stood out today: 8:4, 8, 17 v8:4 Then the king extended the gold scepter to Esther. v8 For no document written in the king’s name and sealed with his ring can be revoked. v17 And many people of other nationalities became Jews because fear of the had seized them.

My response: Jesus, I am struck by things happening a second time. Esther in v14 is risking her life a second time if the king is extending the gold scepter. In v8 it seems the first decree by Hamaan is revoked and a new document written and sealed. This reminds me of 2:19, “when the virgins were assembled a second time.” Jesus, I really like v16 & 17 – all the joy, celebration, gladness, honor, more joy, more gladness, feasting, celebrating. And the best part is many people of other nationalities became Jews, because “a fear” had seized them.

Father God, would you send a great fear of You over the land? Would you extend your gold scepter of grace that people of all nationalities would come and receive Life, even Eternal Life? Yes, Father, would you grant eyes to see, ears to hear, hearts that understand the truth that you alone are God and you are very, very good. I am looking forward to the party that goes forever.

Esther 5 & 6

What stood out today: 5:10, 6:6, 4:16 Never the less, Haman restrained himself and went home, calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife. v6:6When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honor? v4:16 Go get together all the Jews who are in Susa and fast for me… I and my maids will fast as you do.

My response: Jesus, I am struck how Xerxes and Haman seek counsel from other people and how Esther seeks you and engages all the Jews in Susa to seek you and your counsel. And Esther, the star, moves forward with brilliance, holds two banquets, inviting Xerxes and Haman. And then in the middle of the night between the banquets, you keep Xerxes up and arrange for him to hear the story from your annals how Mordecai saved Xerxes’ life nine years earlier. God, if I am to be a man after your own heart, I need to seek you first. Just like in my life verse, Matthew 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.” Jesus, thank you for winning my heart to a place that wants to please you, that wants to be at the center of your obedience, not at the fringes.

Esther 4

What stood out today: 4:11, 14 For any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned; the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend his gold scepter to him and spare his life. v14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?

My response: Jesus, again I am struck by what a different King you are. Xerxes says if anyone comes to him that has not been invited, they will die. You have invited all to come. And if they do come, they get eternal life and if they don’t come, they die.

Abba, you sit on your throne with your righteous arms extended, even Jesus, waiting for undeserving, unrighteous people to come and receive your mercy, your love, your life.

I am also struck by the depth and quality of relationships between Mordecai and Esther, Mordecai and the Jewish people. Esther trusts God with her life: in v 16, she says, “And if I perish, I perish.”

I am struck by the amount of submitting going on in this passage. In 4:2, Mordecai “went only as far as the king’s gate because no one in sackcloth was allowed.” Esther submitted to Mordecai and God and Xerxes by going to Xerxes when not summoned.

Abba, Mordecai and Esther displayed great courage, great faith. I am reminded of the statement, “that we don’t need more faith; we need more knowledge of the object of our faith.” Abba, thank you for revealing more of yourself to me through your scriptures. Thank you for this life that tests and tries our knowledge of you. Thank you that these tests are never to fail us but to show us and grow us, that we would have a faith that is mature and not lacking in anything.

Esther 3

What stood out today: 3:5, 17 When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was enraged. v7 In the twelfth year of king Xerxes…

My response: Abba, you are the only one worthy to be bowed down to and paid honor. As we seek that place, because of the sin nature in us, we cannot handle it; we were never created for it. It reminds me of the quote that, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Jesus, your ways of humility, love, and service are quite counter to our view of royalty and power. It’s hard for us to get our minds around your character and nature.

Esther 2

What stood out today: 2: 7, 9, 15, 17 v7 Hadassah, also known as Esther. v9 Esther pleased Hegai and on his favor. v15 And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. v17 and Esther won Xerxes favor and approval more than any of the other virgins.

My response: Jesus, I am curious. What does the name Hadassah mean? I am also struck by the third occasion of seven. There were seven eunuchs in 1:10 and seven nobles in 1:14 and seven maids in 2:9. Is this code language that you are present, the number seven being a number of perfection. Jesus, in doing some research it says Hadassah means Myrtle and Esther means star.

Esther, God made you rise to a high place of wisdom, courage, faith, and self-sacrifice. Hmmm. Jesus, is Esther the Christ figure in the book? Her only trait that doesn’t line up is her physical beauty. ;) It’s remarkable how she won everyone’s favor almost instantly. Jesus, I wish that were true for you in this world. Abba, it’s in your power to cause others to favor. Would you extend grace to others to find favor with Jesus in me? Would you extend your royal scepter that they might have life? It’s astounding to me that you let me participate in your work, that you grant me the favor of seeing you at work. Abba, would you also allow us to find favor in the eyes of our customers?

Esther 1

What stood out today: 1:4&5, 15, 22 v4 He gave a banquet for 180 days. v5 When these days were over the king gave a banquet lasting seven days, in the enclosed garden of the king’s palace for all the people from the least to the greatest. v15 According to Law, what must be done to Queen Vashti? v22 He sent dispatches to all parts of the kingdom…that every man should be ruler over his own household.

My response: Jesus, I am struck by the banquets. They make me think of your story about a king inviting everyone to a great banquet. It also makes me think that Xerxes could display his wealth and possessions for 180 days. You could spend eternity showing us your wealth, splendor, glory and majesty. These words make me think of 1 Chronicles 29:11, “Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor for everything in heaven and earth is yours.” v 15, 22 are sad for me… Here is a marriage – a sacred covenant relationship that is the highest between people – a man and a woman; and the king asks about law. And in v22, that every man should be ruler in his own household. Xerxes so missed the love part, what a very great loss. Jesus, it seem you are bringing marriage into focus, with discussions yesterday with a friend about Ephesians 5, my wife, and another friend and his horrible divorce. Jesus, you are the ultimate husband. May I learn from you how you would have me love Nancy best, not like a ruling king, but as a serving, loving husband. As you teach me, would you allow me to show others. There is such a great need…

Esther 1 - 10

What stood out today: v 6:1 That night the king could not sleep

My response: God, I am struck by your presence, your timing, your sovereignty. Indeed no where in this book are you named, yet you are all over and through this book. Your timing to disturb the king's sleep, directing him to this history about Mordecai right in the middle of Esther's banquets, is just masterful. I am greatly pleased and comforted by your sovereignty. I do not think your sovereignty is equal to our free choice. Just like your good is not equal to evil. God, you are great and you are good.

Hosea 3 - 5

What stood out today: v4:10 They will eat but not have enough; they will engage in prostitution but not increase, because they have deserted the LORD to give themselves to prostitution, to old wine and new, which take away the understanding of my people. v14 A people without understanding will come to ruin! v5:15 And they will seek my face; in their misery they will earnestly seek me.

My response: Lord Jesus, why would we look to anyone or anything else? Thank you for rescuing me from folly. As far as you have brought me, it seems not very far at all. The more I see, the further it feels I have to go. Holy Spirit, I am glad that you are at work. Jesus, I am glad that you are my great Rabbi, teaching me, showing me. Father God, I am glad that you have this mapped out.

Hosea 1 - 2

What stood out today: v1:7 Yet I will show love to the house of Judah; and I will save them—not by bow, sword or battle, or by horses and horsemen, but by the LORD their God. v2:17 I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips; no longer will their names be invoked. v23 I will plant her for myself in the land; I will show my love to the one I called ‘Not my loved one.’

My response: God, we need you to, “I will.” “I will show love.” “I will remove…” “I will plant her…” “I will show my love.” Jesus, you are the means and the end of our salvation. We are saved to serve. You plant us in the land to be vessels of your love to people who were not your loved ones so that we all might have our “Baals” removed from our hearts and Love the One True God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.